Thursday, December 22, 2005

Wrapping the presents

It's taking DAYS...

I had a brilliant idea last evening--at least I hope it's brilliant--while eating at Red Lobster with my dear wife...

First some background:

You know how sometimes you get a gift that's maybe weighed down a bit with rocks or something to make it seem like something it isn't; or maybe it's inside of a box that's inside of a larger box that's inside of an even larger box (and so on)? Well, I got that last year from my brother-in-law.

I opened the first box: inside it was another box, wrapped, complete with duct tape, like it was to withstand nuclear war; around the box were a few balled-up dollar bills amongst a few sheets of crumpled newspaper. Inside the second box: the same thing--another bomb shelter for little people, some crumpled newspaper, and some more crumpled bills. Inside the third...I think you get the idea. I think there were at least four boxes in all, one inside the other.

All told, it took me upwards of five minutes to get through all that, and at the center were a few more bills; my present was $25 worth of crumpled $1 bills. (I think I got them all...) That's fine--it's my wife's family, and that's about how much gets spent per person. My complaint was with the wrapping job: I swore revenge.

It will be mine. Oh, yes: It will be mine.

As I write this, I'm freezing a small bar of soap, "borrowed" from a hotel, wrapped in a note, wrapped in a baggie, wrapped in a paper bag, wrapped in another baggie, inside a block of ice. The note says something to the effect of, "All that work, and your gift isn't even in here!"

I'm doing it in stages: The first stage was to freeze the wrapped-up soap, weighed down so it wouldn't float too high, in a small (6"x2"x1" thick) Tupperware container full of water. At this time, I got a slightly larger (9"x9"x6") cardboard box, lined it with a garbage bag (I cut the top half of the bag off), and filled the bottom 2" with water and crushed ice (so it would freeze faster). This box I also placed in the freezer, along with a Rubbermaid container (12"x18"x8") containing 3" of water and ice.

There were some mistakes and re-designs along the way (who knew that cardboard boxes wouldn't hold water?), but I think I have it all planned out the way I should--I just hope it's ready by tomorrow night, when the family gets together...

I have some pics--I'll post them after I get some of the "target" opening his "gift." Should be fun!

5:20AM, Dec. 23: Update--I don't think I'm going to be able to get as much done as I thought...the first box is (mostly) frozen, but when I wrapped it up a while ago, some water leaked out. Go to Plan B.